Alarms suck on weekends

I had a dream about a castle called “Neele” (read as Neil). What I saw in my dream were ruins of it. It was strange because it was built between above a river, so there’s water underneath the ruins. There were other people there like they’re some sort of tourists (including me) and I saw on one stone table, a old book where it say. “Castle of Neele” with a drawing of a queen, Celtic knots, etc. It has some golden parts like the leaves and the vines of the knots and the jewels in the queen’s clothes. She was actually posed like she’s worshipping the title written at the top of the book. I didn’t get to open it though, too bad. That would have been a great idea for a story.

What happened to the castle?
Who is Neele? And that queen?
Who the hell would build a castle right above a river?

Dream

It’s been a long time since I had last posted something about my dreams, mainly because of the sound of the alarm clock waking me up by force and making me slip away from the sensitive strings that takes me to dream land. But this morning, since I had forgotten my phone in the cafe, which sets off in the morning, I slept through — and remembered — a strange dream.

It was sort of another apocalypse type dream. Not because of zombies, but just people who were quite ghostly. And a little crazy. I was in downtown along with other ‘survivors’, running, avoiding the crazies. And then the dream transported us into a room that I couldn’t remember well. All I know is that there was a large white table where everyone sat around at, and then I started crying while they talk about what to do. And then there was someone there who walked towards me and asked why I was crying. I told him I am very scared and just let me cry. The unknown person with blurry face hugged me and kissed my forehead, then all of a sudden we’re outside again. We were running, there were crazy people appearing and disappearing as we ran through a distorted-kind of floors. 

But actually, when I woke up, I realized that I knew why the floors were distorted and in fact, its not a ‘floor’, it eerily resembled the school work I we did during the photoshop class. It was a face of the building which we distorted and made into many broken glass-like pieces. In my work, I distorted the building so that it looked soft and wobbly.

I knew dreams has something to do with reality. And that thought gives me an idea for a new story…

Catching up with my dream journal

Dream from a few days ago:

It was night time but the dream had a different kind of darkness into it. I don’t remember exactly which road/highway I was in, but I knew when I dreamed about it that day, I recognize it. There were cars parked everywhere like it was abandoned. Like there was a zombie apocalypse. I saw a truck in that dream that have fallen to its side. Then I remember I was running to it then the scenes changed and I was in an elevator. Checkered floors and wooden walls. And I remember it was descending down to a very dark place I can’t even make out where I was headed. It was pretty scary.

Then the dream from this morning was a very lively, tear-bearing one:

I had a dream that I was getting married. I was wearing a tube dress that’s just a few inches from the floor. It’s a fitted dress, but it was sewn from the knee point, making the rest of the fabric flow out in pleats. It’s a beautiful, yet strange tiger pattern as a wedding dress. Haha. When I woke up I just thought that it has something to do with what Bry does. I was waiting in the same apartment room that I live in right now, wearing that dress, and I overheard my mom that a reception thingy will start at 3 pm. Maybe it was midday in the dream because there was so much light from the glass sliding door.

Then the scenes changed and I was in a Gurdwara (its like a church for Sikh people like Bry). The floors were green; it was a mattress because there are no seats. I didn’t recognize most of the people, but at the end of the walk path I saw him standing there, waiting. I began to cry in the dream. Bry’s wearing a suit in yet another strange black color for a wedding but I figured it was because the last thing I see every night was his picture wearing a black suit. Maybe the reason why I’m wearing a tiger pattern was because I remembered a post from his Kung Fu school. Kung Fu = tiger… maybe.

Anyway, I was crying, I was walking towards him and then I woke up..

Dream

I found myself walking through the streets of a huge Kingdom that was surrounded by water. Perhaps it was late afternoon, for despite the absence of the sun, the skies gave an orange glow somewhere in the horizon. People were everywhere; smiles across their faces; children running around bearing gifts of some kind. I kept walking in no particular direction, until I stumbled upon a wide table where things that looked familiar to me were placed on.

I realized I was a merchant. People looked at the things with wonder and curiousity, some bought, some didn’t; but nevertheless, everything was fine. I saw another thing among the things I was selling; it was a page of my sketchbook, a drawing of a landscape. There were mountains, tall grasses dancing in the motion of the winds, and a dense forest just ahead. I grabbed the paper with my both hands, examining it carefully, until I decided to sell it for a small amount. I did not think anyone would buy it anyway.

But the night was just beginning, and everything changed within the blink of an eye.

There was fire somewhere, and the skies now seemed it was burning as well, replacing the orange glow into a bright, fiery, shadows watching from the distance. Villagers ran to hide; the Kingdom was under attack.

A huge building stood at the very center of the Kingdom. Not a castle, but more like a church. There was a bell tower, and it rang and rang, its deafening metal sound echoing from miles and miles throughout the dark sea.

We ran towards the church, but not to hide, but to protect it. I was just a merchant, but I knew well enough how to use a sword. There were many of us — from villagers to Kindgom soldiers — standing steadily over the slanted roof.

Then they appeared.

Demonic women with wings, piercing eyes, and screetching wails flew over the church, all over the Kingdom. No one knew where they came from, and the happiness that once dwelled in everyone’s faces were immediately replaced by fear. I heard windows shutting, even if it was useless. They were not harpies, no, but something else we never know.

Something rose over the skies, thin and suddenly wrapped in flames — spears — showering above the Kingdom. It was the end of everything, and the last thing I knew, I was protecting a helpless dog from the fiery showers, and the piece of drawing drifting in the winds.

(Source: cloudbearer)

Something For Me

Bry has been sick for a couple of days and now his throat was hurting. And whenever I see him in that state, or hear him have difficulty in coughing (because his throat is really dry), I couldn’t help but wish that I was there. I won’t let him do anything but rest and steal every piece of ice cream this stubborn boy eats. I don’t think ice cream — or any cold stuff — could cure a sore throat, but I’m sure if he begs (and agrees to share with me) then we’ll eat that ice cream together.

There is about two months left before our one year anniversary, and I wish nothing more than to celebrate that day with him right beside me. Day by day, aside from the added desperation to work somewhere else, I keep realizing that I cannot live like this any longer. I don’t think I could go another year without seeing him standing, smiling, and talking right in front of me; not on the other side of the laptop. I just can’t. We might be getting along well just by chatting and texting, but I keep craving that feeling of being hugged so warmly, and actually being taken care of. I want to start a life without having to sit in front of a laptop, just imagining the great things that could happen. I just want Bry by my side.

I’ve been searching thoroughly for jobs that could bring me to him. My first choice was to get into a hotel (another dream of mine), but since every hotel in the world require everyone to have a degree about something, I thought maybe I could just start somewhere (I also feel like I’m a little too tired to go back to studying). Working in a hotel seems too advanced, so I thought maybe I could lower down a little bit, and just work my way up. That’s possible, right?

I’m not making a list for my whole life. I’m just saying the things I really want to happen, then just go where the road will take me. I don’t think I could really follow a lifetime list anyway.

Luak in my dream again…

I had another weird dream. The clearest image I saw was when I was like running through a subway car. But my dreams were never normal. There were lots of subway cars all squeezed together and was surrounding a statue. I was running in circles inside the cars. I don’t know why. It was like someone’s chasing me (there’s always some unknown dark figure chasing me in my dreams LOL)

Then, when I got out, I saw another boy. He resembles Luak, only he wears different clothes now. He was looking for something. And he wants me to help him find it. He said its for a *dying* girl. So we were all over the weirdly constructed subway station looking for something I don’t know. Then when we made a turn, we were suddenly in a cemetery. There were dark figures there and I saw that boy Luak finishing them off. He was just like touching them on the shoulder then the dark figure poofs out. Gone. (It kinda makes me want to draw Luak now even though it’ll be a little difficult because I will have to rely on the memory of the dream, but I’ll try). Then I finally woke up. Weird mixed dreams but I find them very interesting.

I met a little boy named Luak in my dream…

… okay… this is getting weirder and weirder.

He’s like 5-7 years old, like a brown-blonde hair and strange gold-red eyes. He’s wearing peasant clothes and he’s telling me to leave. He even asked me to disguise myself but my schoolmate who was with me in the dream, wasn’t asked to. But in the dream, I didn’t sense danger; the boy was smiling. LOL. Creepy.

Hmm..

Monster in my dream

Funny how I always dream when I’m about to wake up. I dreamed the same dream twice because when I woke up earlier this morning, I went back to sleep, only to have the same dream, only longer.

The dream was of me and some members of my family going swimming. We were headed to a beach and I remember that place; I have the tendency of dreaming of a certain place over and over. I’ve seen it in the past.

Then the sceneries changed, and we ended up swimming in an abandoned pool. The walls were vandalised, but the water was oddly clear. Swimming, swimming, then a second later, everyone was gone and I’m alone. It was suddenly night time. Nightmare starts.

I got out of the pool and magically transported back to the house, looking for my phone. The ceiling was made of glass and the place was a mess. I remember in the dream where I last put my phone — it was plugged in behind a desk, charging. The charger was there, but no phone.

When I turned, the glass ceiling shattered and a fleshy monster with long arms landed in front of me. It looked like the boss in Antartica in the ps2 game: Resident Evil code: Veronica. In front of the monster was a woman’s figure wearing all black clothes. It was holding an electric fan towards me. LOL. Then I just woke up.

Playing too much, I guess. Oh well…

Marzo 7

I had a strange dream. It started off in a random weird hotel-like place with me and a few familiar people. It was raining, and we were expecting someone: Bry. It would be my first time meeting him in the dream. Everyone was by the door when they said he’s coming, so I ran outside even if it was raining.

But it wasn’t Bry at all. In the dream, the very first thing I noticed about this approaching dude was the short black hair. Bry doesn’t go out of the house without a turban… and his hair is not short. And this random dude doesn’t have a beard!!! And he’s red!!!! Red like he just grilled himself under the sun for a whole day. That wasn’t Bry in my dream, it was just some random dude that everyone refer to as Bry! And I was so stupid in the dream for being all over that random dude. UGH. I feel so disgusted and so guilty when I woke up :( I felt like I cheated. Stupid dream.

Time wore on and I still wasn’t able to do anything today. I felt so frustrated and annoyed but I still couldn’t do anything. I simply stared at the ceiling, brainstorming ideas but couldn’t put them on paper or Word. So I just worked out and showered then did nothing again. If finishing a movie counts as being productive, then good — because I finished a movie called “The Invisible Sign” starring Jessica Alba. It was about a girl who loves math (I never knew someone who loves math) and becomes a math teacher and started helping the lives of her students. It was a good movie. And the lead man reminded me of Bry because of the full beard. Haha. Even Thor’s beard reminded me of him. Although I wouldn’t recommend “The Invisible Sign” it to anyone who doesn’t like the “family” movie genre.

Well, here’s another day of being unproductive…

(Source: cloudbearer)

Aragorn in my dream

I have no idea what he’s doing in my dream.

I’m not exactly sure how the dream started. All I remember was that we were being chased. I remember the familiar neighborhood road once again — the very spot where I fell of my skateboard in real life.  But in my dream, the roads were exaggeratedly hilly, there was one part of the road where I had to get off the skateboard because if I didn’t maybe I would’ve fell on my face even in my dream.

Anyway, Aragorn caught up with me and we entered a house. He said it was his house. We entered the double doors and I saw a bed, white sheets and all, at the right and I couldn’t remember what’s on the left. Anyway, we were searching for a place to hide. Then a woman and another man appeared out of nowhere and told us to escape from the window. I forgot what happened near the windows but Aragorn lost consciousness (Okay, that’s not cool.) and we had to leave because the people who were chasing us are coming. We couldn’t lift him up so the woman told us to hide him in the closet. LOL. 

Then I woke up.

(Source: cloudbearer)

Febbraio quattordici

Ever since I started waking up early, it seems that its getting harder and harder for me to dream. And if I do dream, it gets hard to remember. I dunno. Maybe its just me, because I always wake up as if I’m in a hurry.

All I could remember from my dream last night has something to do with fire.

I wasn’t feeling very well today (Yes, even if its Valentines day, my mood gets so crap it ruins everything). I wasn’t able to edit or do anything else. I was just sitting the whole day, too absorbed in my own thoughts while I listen to Tibetan music on Youtube. It was a very unpleasant morning and I seriously thought I was the most miserable person in the world. My thoughts torture me so much. Then Bry refused to sleep until I was all smiley and giggly. He made so many silly faces just to make me smile. Maybe I’d still feel down if it weren’t for his boost.

Then, earlier this evening, I went out to meet the buyer of our house. I waited inside a small shopping center for quite a while because I arrived too early, thanks to my overpowering fear of running late. I was standing awkwardly at the corner, trying not to look too suspicious just so I won’t be mistaken as someone who carry a bomb. While at the same time, looking around for suspicious people too. Just being careful, really. I used to always looking down, avoiding people’s stares and not knowing who passes by me while loud music blasted into my ears. But ever since that time when some random dude said something to me (and I told Bry about it), he told me to drop the earphones, look up and look around. Observe who and what’s around me. Now I know who’s looking at me, and who’s not looking at me.

The center was almost packed with people. I could feel the Valentines day aura because of all the couples walking around — young and old — passing by. Roses everywhere along with other red stuff like small heart pillows.

When the buyer arrived (she’s a woman okay.), we chatted for a while, asking her stuff, what happened, and all that. It came to the point when we talked about her young daughter(?) who has babies now. And then she was like:

“Don’t get married yet, okay? Help your mommy first. Don’t get a boyfriend yet. Wait, do you have a boyfriend?”

And I was like:

“Yes.”

And she was like:

=.=

It was like, she was thinking that what happened to her daughter (getting prego at an early age) will happen to me (and possibly to my sister too). I understand that she’s concerned because really, having a baby is no joke. If ever I get a baby, of course, I want to be all prepared; I don’t wanna have one “accidentally”. I would rather “expect” than wake up one day and “surprise!”. And I don’t plan on having one anytime soon. Anyway, we talked about Bry for a good minute or two asking how old is he, is he Filipino, where does he live, etc. etc. I told her what she wanted to know and I don’t really care because mom already knows.

After the talk, she would’ve treated me for dinner but I refused (because of reasons) but really, if she said “let’s eat something”, I would’ve said “sure” right away. But I felt a little shy and I considered the things she’d been through financially. So, we went to bet on the lottery before separating ways.

The one thing I am jealous of her was how she places everything on God’s hands, and here I am, losing my faith and sort of confused whether to still believe or not, or believe in nothing at all. So… I don’t know. I need more guidance spiritually.

And now, I’m home. I’m safe. Hopefully I can resume editing again tomorrow. Or drop by the embassy to follow-up my documents.

(Source: cloudbearer)

Guns Dreams

First Dream:

I found myself at an intersection (The same intersection that can be found in a recent dream). It was the road that leads to the place I used to train at. There were cars and jeepneys. I headed at the eastern side of the intersection and approached the cars halted by the stoplight there.

Then I was transported to my grandmother’s house. There were people who were looking for me. I guess I could say that this is another action movie dream. I was with someone, a guy I don’t recognize, and the men with guns were after him too. We kind of surrendered and showed ourselves and sat by the fence.

One of the gun men wore a black suit, complete with a black hat. The other, wearing red polo and a sunglasses. They approached us, and the black suit-wearing man fired his revolver at us. The random guy I was with (probably around his 30s) got shot, I don’t know where though. I know I was. I got shot on right foot and left shoulder. Then the gun men walked away.

Then I was suddenly alone, looking for a safe place around my grandmother’s house. I realized the gun men were still there. They saw me so I didn’t attempted to run away. They asked me to go near them and I realized I was wearing a jacket with a pocket on either side, both had something in it. The sunglass guy reached into the jacket’s left pocket and destroyed the small thing he got. It looked like a sim card. LOL.

Then I headed over into one of the rooms. I saw my grandmother, another random guy riding a bike inside the room, and a girl passing by. Then I just woke up.

Second dream:

It’s a very short one because it’s all I could remember.

There was a man running away from a car that was chasing him. He tried to climb over a chain-linked fence but failed and the car reached him. The car door opened and there was a woman holding a gun and another extra guy. The man got shot and me, because I saw myself getting shot… in the head. Then again, I saw myself laying down on my black couch and I was hearing voices like, “Is she alive?” or something like that. There was a lot of voices; both of men and women. Then I woke up in the exact same position I saw myself in the dream.