Based On A True Story Part 5: Dream Come True

I greet mornings with huge smiles on my face knowing I have a message waiting to be read. I try to wake up early so that I would have longer time talking to him before he goes to sleep, even though sometimes, I have thought about if I was just disturbing him. He was, unlike me, a student and has a job. If I was in his place, juggling that and all other things at once, I would have flopped down on the floor the moment I get home and using the computer would be the last thing in my mind. I don’t know where he gets his energy or how he still managed to find time to open up his emails or text someone who wanted nothing but all of his attention.

Time passed and the day of my birthday finally came. I just turned seventeen, and if I were to make a wish, that is for him not to forget this date. I truly appreciate people who remember the date when I was born, and since he was already an important person in my life, I would feel really sad if he forget, no matter how shallow it seemed.

There was a time when I thought that maybe I began to love him because he was someone who showed immediate affection on my time of loneliness, then I began to doubt my feelings again. My heart has not just been broken, but shattered, and there was a dark gaping hole in my chest where my heart was supposed to be. I was empty, living in the dark and could not get myself back up on my feet ever since I fell. If I was in a race, I would have been left behind. Who would come back for someone like me? They have their lives ahead of them.

But then he came, like an angel who descended down from the Heavens as a Gift from God and I thought that maybe the Lord finally decided that its time for me to be happy again, and that I have learned or suffered enough to not make the same mistake again. And so He gave him to me as an early birthday present. And I am happy. There was light, there was direction, and there was someone holding me and helping me get back on track. He filled my longing for a companion even though he cannot be with me physically. He really was a Gift, and I can never thank this boy enough.

So who would not love him? Who would not fall for him at all? Often times, I was the one questioning him about what he liked about me. Why me? Why develop special feelings for someone who was on the other side of the world rather than looking for someone around his area? Won’t that be easier? Won’t that make him feel more at ease knowing his special person was just a few minutes away? Won’t he be happier being able to wrap her in his arms and be hugged in return when he needed it?

How long can he wait for me? I was afraid that one day he would get tired of waiting and everything might crumble, but there were numerous things that he said that I will always remember, which also adds to the reasons why our relationship might just work out.

“I’d rather wait for you, than not have you at all…”

——-

I much preferred to celebrate my birthday talking to him. I did not need anything, but I should at least go out and have a little fun. But I wasn’t out long; the whole time, I was thinking of him and constantly imagined how it would be like if he was with me, celebrating my birthday. I imagined him walking with me at the mall, carrying small boxes of food to eat at home, or to come home and be surprised that he flew across the globe to see me. That would be nice, but even though it was still impossible, its not wrong to dream.

The night of my birthday came. And as usual, I was trying not to fall asleep just so I would be the first one to greet him a ‘good morning’. I was tired, but all of it vanished the moment I started talking to him again. I wondered then, if whenever he opens my emails, his tiredness goes away and he gains more strength to keep going. I could not contain my happiness and all I could do was ask him the most random question I could ever think of. He would call me sweet names, and I would do the same. His sweetness never vanished, it was as if we were simply laying down in bed, cuddling and talking about our day when in fact, we were together most of the time. It was like sleep was the only thing that separated us, but even then, we still See each other in dreamland. We’re still together; we’re inseparable.

Even if I don’t tell him that I love him, it seemed okay; he already knows. We even act like lovers already. I would sleep at night facing close to my pillow pretending that it was his chest, feel his breath blowing on top of my head as he kiss, and indulge myself in the warmth of his embrace. I would fall asleep to the sound of his heartbeat and the steadiness of his breathing; it was the only way I could really feel safe at night. He was like my shield from everything harmful and I could really feel him; he is real, and he is mine.

“Yeah, I think its time for bed but can I say something before I sleep?”

“Yes, of course, my Cha.”

It took me a moment to decided how I was going to say it:

“Umm… I love you.” No… sounds like I’m not sure.

“Umm… I think I love you.” No no no… wtf?

So I went on and said it straight-to-the-point: “I love you.”

Seconds seemed like forever. It was like I was holding on to a piece of slowly tearing up rope and I would fall into an endless black hole if he tells me that he does not love me back; like I’m waiting for my doom and I would lose him forever. I tried to wait patiently, but at the same time I began to think about what I just said. I just told him I love him, what difference does it make? He already knew long before I told him, right?

I wondered what was going through his mind the moment he read those three words, but in his reply, I knew. And on the night of my birthday, I slept wrapped in his loving arms once again.

“I love you too, my Angel”

(Source: cloudbearer)