30 minutes

I am half an hour early here at my ojt place because the last time I went here last week, it was farmer’s market day and it was traffic. In short, I came in late. So today, I left the house 15 minutes before I used to and I arrived half and hour before 9.

I don’t think it’s that bad doing alil surfing before real work starts <.<

I miss blogging.

I miss writing. I think I have a concept for another novel, and I’m thinking of starting it soon, earlier Nano.

I also miss drawing of course. I bought henna powder last week and I’m thinking if I can’t put it on my skin, I might as well use it as ink. :3

So much to do, but so little time…

I wake up at 5:30, shower and prepare, go to the cafe at 6:30 and stay until 7:45 to go to this training. I think about how long we could keep this kind of routine, because we’re really tired. But I must say that I’m starting to really enjoy this training so far.

My first day was quite boring and uncomfortable. I was my usual quiet self doing the work I was given to do. I met the team and some from the IT department after the small birthday feast that lasted 10 minutes. My job so far was primary focused on Photoshop and putting the right photos for articles. We just sit there, talking, making silly noises for 8 hours but it’s really exhausting. Sometimes I would feel sleepy in the afternoon and would often fall asleep on the bus on the way home. The weekends doesn’t necessarily mean I could stay in bed all day though.

I am also working on this logo for a new natural paint startup company and I find it hard to look for inspirations for it. The art director liked the concept I had for the first try, but I needed to make it more “logo-like” and symmetrical.

I must say that everyday I find it nice to look forward to going to “work” rather than staying for hours in the cafe. But sometimes I feel sorry for my big sister for not having such opportunities like what I’m having. Sometimes I want to stop so there’s no one higher or lower among us. But then I think that maybe if I could do these things right, maybe I could help her one day.

It should be fine…

Last Wednesday, I was finally able to get another appointment from the director to see if this time, I would finally have a place where I could complete my one month job training. I was actually unprepared; it was 5 pm, and before that I had to wait in school for the medical checkup (which turns out that I cannot see well from afar after the result of the eye test. The others have blurry right eye, etc.) Meaning I looked pretty messed up going to the company.

It was one of the company’s I saw on the Internet just weeks ago, since I also tried doing some search on my own. It is near my Italian school (which is really great so I don’t have to travel far) and kinda has a good reputation in the industry. It’s a real office building with a car modeling company next to it. We had a good conversation with the owner of the place and unlike the first appointment I had,a pretty good feeling that I would be accepted there. During the first appointment, the guy already looks like he’s in doubt, like he’s really not into taking noobs for a month of training. idk.

I feel pretty nervous though. Monday will be my first day. And I couldn’t think of a good professional looking outfit to wear since my wardrobe is not that professional-looking <.<

Just how do you make a plain shirt look good enough for office work??

Expectation vs. Reality

Starting today until Saturday, the second and third year students of the school would come back for a reason I don’t know before everyone goes off to the ojt. At first I was actually pretty calm about the idea, and I even thought of greeting those people who actually helped me get some attention for my artwork. I did ran a conversation in my head, tried acting out the dialogue I would say once I see them and just be natural.

But today what I did was sit on the corner pretending I’m listening to music while drawing and avoiding eye contact. I’m such a pussy. I hate myself sometimes.

I’m currently in school..

we just finished make-up classes and now we’re left to do whatever we want in the computer lab. I wish I could just go home; I don’t want to go to Italian class today either. I’m too tired and my back hurts. Class wasn’t so bad but I couldn’t concentrate well enough.

Companion

We had a customer walk in today. They were a husband and wife about in their late 80s, especially the old man. The woman looked a bit younger.

Then my sister started saying,”it must be sad being old. They’re probably just by themselves in their homes, their children away an have their own families, etc.”

I watched them eat for a while. The woman was stronger and so often she would stand up and walk to us about what they want rather than just calling us over. They silently talked and drank wine and that’s when I realized that maybe they’re not lonely at all like what my sister imagined. They have each other so what’s there to be lonely about?

That’s the very reason why people look for “someone”. One day, even if we don’t want it, people would leave our side and we need someone to hold on to. Maybe I’m talking in circles now; but you get the point.

I told bry numerous times that I don’t wanna grow old by myself. In fact, I told him again about half an hour ago when the old people left; he said I won’t.

Late night

-it’s exactly 1:17 am here right now. Two hours ago, the cafe turns into a bar and people come out of nowhere and occupied the seats.
-There was just the two of us (stepdad in the kitchen making orders). I run in and out taking orders and delivering them. I chose the wrong footwear today.
-I guess it’s gonna be another summer of martyrdom. More than 18 hours of work without any salary but tips that’s divided into half. I’m trying hard to excel in class because of this.
-we hired a previous employee but that doesn’t change anything. She can’t run and handle money so she has to have a companion.
-my stepdad is leaving for a week for a business trip for a company. 1 week. There might be people. Mom has a baby to take care of. Ojt is about to start. This worries me.
-I don’t know what I’m saying anymore. I’m awake, but not really. Bry needs to come here and hug me whenever I can’t do it anymore.
-oh I have to walk the dog.
-and I have this animation concept I have to board out…